God is helping me with my grief through CZC
by Monica Barbour

Growing up with alcoholic parents is very hard. Many times either my mom or my dad or both of them would not come home and I would not see them for days. Fortunately for me I have an older brother and sister that sometimes were almost like parents to me and a grandmother that I could always call and was there when we needed her.

When I was in the third grade and my sister was a senior in high school, things were so bad that we moved in with my grandmother. My brother was in the Navy and stationed in Maine. We did not see our parents very much that year. The next year my grandmother received full custody of me. I still did not see my parents very much. After my sister graduated from high school she moved to her own apartment.

On Monday, April 21, I received the most shocking news ever! I came down stairs from my room and saw my sister sitting on the sofa with my grandmother; they looked like they had been crying. I ran to my sister with open arms and gave her a big hug! She told me to sit down because she had something very sad to tell me. “Mom died yesterday,” she said. I was in complete shock and did not believe her and cried a lot. I was always a mommy’s girl even though I did not see her much most of my life. My family, my friends (especially my youth group friends) and my FBC family were a loving and caring support to me during this time.

My grandmother told me about Comfort Zone Camp (CZC), a grief support camp, for children who have lost a parent or a brother or sister. I did not want to go and did not even think about going.

On Friday, September 12, I very reluctantly went to Comfort Zone Camp. I did not want to go because I thought I would be sad, homesick, scared and alone. On Friday night I was all of those and cried and cried. I wanted to go home so bad. As the weekend went on, God held my hand the entire time, and on Sunday I was very glad I was there and I did not want to leave.

CZC made me realize that telling my story about my mom helped me to begin to heal. It was a good experience and helped me push through my grief. I learned that I will always hurt about my mom and that grief is a life long process. Do not ever listen to someone who tells you that you should be over your grief. I met new people and made lots of friends. Camp is like a whole new world where people understand you and know what you are going through and understand your feelings. Grief is too big to carry alone. Being with others at CZC who understood me is like putting my trust in God and allowing Him to help make the load lighter.

When I got to camp I met my big buddy, Mary, who stayed with me the entire time. She was a good friend, a great listener, someone who encouraged me and understood my feelings, and I could talk to her about everything. She was like the role models that I look up to at church, like Ann Carter, Candi Brown, Lynn Turner, Mary Hiteman, my Sunday School teachers, music leaders, Acteens leaders and small group leaders. It is very special and important to me to know that many people at FBC pray for me and my family. As a teenager, it can sometimes be very hard to be a Christian at school. Being part of my youth group at church gives me strength and the courage that I need to share my faith at school.