God asked me to trust in
Him.
by Jessika Ellis
Growing up I didn’t have the pleasure of
living with my biological parents. They were too young to take care of my
brother and me. My mother was on drugs and my dad just didn’t have the
skills of being a parent. Because of our living situation, at a young age,
my brother and I went to live with my grandparents. They later got full
custody of us and eventually my parents separated and got divorced.
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Living with Nanny and
Papa was pretty much a breeze. I had them to look after me and
David. I rarely saw my Dad after my parents divorced. It was like he
didn’t want anything to do with me and David. My mom remarried twice
and had two other children that I rarely saw. She got hooked up with
the wrong people and eventually ended up in prison for drug dealing.
It was hard for me and David
because we didn’t understand back then like we do now. I always thought it
was my fault. Then I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t. We didn’t do
anything wrong.
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Growing up I didn't have
the pleasure of living with my biological parents. |
When I was 10 years old, my Papa died and
David and I traveled to Colorado to visit my Uncle John and Aunt Melissa. We
stayed for two months and then came home to find out that we where going to
move and live with my mom’s sister, Aunt Jackie and her husband, Uncle
Frank.
After a few years, when I was in the sixth
grade, my Mom got out of prison only to return three years later and is
still there to this day. I get to see her once a month at visitation and get
letters twice a month. Even though I keep in contact with her, we really
don’t have a relationship.
When I was sitting in my room one day
reading my Bible, I felt like God was saying to me, “Trust in Me… Believe in
Me.” I then knew that I had to ask Him to be my Savior and I did. I shared
my commitment with the church and was baptized on February 29, 2002. My
baptism verse was Psalm 118:5: “In my anguish I cried to the Lord and He
answered by setting me free."
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When I was sitting in my room one day reading the Bible, I felt like
God was saying to me, "Trust in Me...Believe in Me."
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In 2006 my life went down the
darkest path and I’m still trying to find a way out. My brother
David left home at the age of 16 after deciding he didn’t need his
family anymore. David was the one I could depend on no matter what.
He was like a different person, angry and confused. I was confused
and scared that my brother had gone off the deep end. David said he
wanted to live with our grandma for a couple of weeks. Well those
weeks turned into months and now years since he left. It’s been
hard; I’m still trying to get over the fact that my brother is not
going to come through our home door ever again. It has made me very
sad. |
I'm trying to learn to forgive and forget,
but it is so hard to forget.
I am really thankful for my Aunt Jackie and
Uncle Frank who have become my mom and dad. They have provided for me a
home, love and a family I never had. Some people say I lived a hard life. I
say I’ve had my challenges, but with Christ by my side, He helps me through
everything.
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