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His purposes or my own comfort?
by Richie Hilbert
One of the richest blessings of my adult life has been studying God’s Word in weekly small group Bible studies. One of the most amazing transformations in my adult life has been the decision to facilitate such Bible studies. Let me explain why I now smile as I read Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
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My interest in Bible study began as a young married person who had finally met Jesus in a personal, heart to heart way. I craved gathering with other Christian women hungry to grow in faith. The plan was to enjoy being spiritually fed in these groups for as long as I lived. How satisfying that would be.
After some years, the unexpected occurred. Jackie Suttenfield, a mentor of mine, requested that I lead a Bible study for her and some of her friends. Panic set in. What Jackie didn’t know was that I lived every day of my life burdened by a paralyzing fear of speaking in front of people. The details of our conversation escape me, but I do recall laughing. Jackie politely asked me to pray about it. As I left her home, my first prayer on the subject went something like this,” Lord, I do love You, but You know better than anyone that I am not equipped to handle leadership. Let’s just leave well enough alone and keep things as they are.” Many times I would tell Jackie, “I am praying about it and I think He is telling me ‘No.’” She would emphatically respond, “Well, so am I, and He’s telling me ‘Yes!’”
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“One of the
most amazing transformations in
my adult life
has been the
decision to
facilitate such
Bible studies.
Let me explain...” |
God and Jackie were relentless. As I continued to pray, the Lord gave me insight. Somehow, in spite of attending all those Bible studies, I had missed the part about God needing me to care more for His purposes than for my own comfort. A little thing called “trust” was required. Satan spent years telling me I had nothing important to say and that people would judge me harshly for trying. That changed! The closer I moved toward Christ, the clearer it became that God was the One Who had something important to say. My job was to be willing to be used; He would take care of the rest. Jackie’s invitation began to feel more like a blessing than a threat.
The good Lord took my overwhelming fear of speaking in public, and my determination never to do so; He then touched both with a healthy measure of His grace. To this day He guides our Bible studies, I facilitate them, and the participants teach each other and me. He selects the study material, inspires us to think deeply about what He wants us to hear, gives us boldness and tolerance for differing views, and brings to each session those He wants to be there. Even as the make-up of a group changes from year to year, without exception each participant, whether she is talkative or quiet, adds value. God sees to it. We ponder, we share, we laugh, we sometimes even cry.
What a privilege it has been to serve the Lord and those precious ones in pursuit of the truth found in our greatest treasure, the Bible. How grateful I am that neither the Lord nor Jackie let me off the hook. The richness of my life is forever enhanced.
Above:
Richie and her husband Lee. Editor’s note: Richie facilitates the Compass Bible Study. If you are interested in facilitating a small group Bible study, contact Steve Booth
(Booth@FBCRichmond.org)
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