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Finding a Father Figure
Eunice Kim’s story by Rachel Lewis Allee
Eunice Kim’s spiritual journey towards faith began at a very young age. When she was six, the First Baptist pianist lost her father. “I was always missing a father figure,” she said, noting that this difficult loss caused her to battle some confusion as she sought to understand who God was.
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"Sometimes I combined Jesus with my dead father,” she said. “To me, my father and Jesus were one person. And I knew that God is your father, Jesus is your father, so I thought they’ll always listen to what I ask for. But it was more like a wish list, like wishing on a star.” But even at that vulnerable time, others modeled true grace and love to her and this influenced her young life. “I had a Sunday school teacher when I was young, maybe second or third grade. She was my hero. She was a poor lady, but she took the group to a bakery and bought me a pastry. The way she treated us, that was a lifetime lesson. I wanted to grow up to be like her.”
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“I said, what do
you mean, accept?
My mother’s
Christian, my grandmother’s Christian, I thought
I was Christian.
I hadn’t realized I
was a sinner. And that’s when I truly accepted Christ.” |
At the age of eighteen, Eunice came to the United States to study piano at the University of California-Los Angeles. Her uncle, with whom she lived during her college years, asked if she had ever accepted Christ. “I said, what do you mean, accept? My mother’s Christian, my grandmother’s Christian, I thought I was Christian. I hadn’t realized I was a sinner. And that’s when I truly accepted Christ.” From that moment, Eunice says, even her attitude towards playing the piano changed. “Before I became a Christian, I didn’t like accompaniment, I didn’t like church piano. But now, when I sit down and play hymns, really play with my heart, I know that’s my place and I love it.”
Eunice eventually moved to the East Coast because her husband, John, was a graduate student at Virginia Tech. During that time, she served as pianist for Blacksburg Baptist Church. She moved to Richmond with her family twelve years ago and since that time has served as the pianist for First Baptist, a role she relishes. “When I play for church, I realize that I play for God and the congregation, but sometimes it’s also for me,” she said. “I’m so grateful to be a pianist, that I get to play for myself sometimes. It’s healing; it’s a way for me to let out my emotions.” And there are many faithful members of First Baptist, she shares, who give her strength. “There are people who you don’t even have to have a Bible study with. You just see their lives and it gives you chills. It’s beautiful.”
Regarding her everyday faith, Eunice is very honest about the struggle to completely trust God, comparing the challenge to riding a roller coaster. “You know something’s holding you. You’re not going to fall, you can raise your hands. But I’m still not comfortable. I’m holding on so hard. That’s me many times. But I know He’s my God, my Father— I can never part from Him.”
Above:
Eunice, with husband John and sons Jonathan and Joshua.
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